Difference between revisions of "Christian"
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| − | + | Christ [[fandom]] is one of the oldest [[fandom]]s, with a history that spans continents and centuries. To insinuate to a [[fundamentalist]] (hard-core) Christian that the [[Bible]] is poorly-written fiction will probably result in you being burnt at the stake. '''Christians''', like [[furries]], are often very defensive about their degeneracy. | |
| + | [[Image:Basketjesus.jpg|thumb|Jesus always liked to bully children.]] | ||
| + | The most important day of the year for [[Christian]]s is Easter-Day when, legend would have it, [[Jesus Christ]] burst forth from a giant chocolate egg to save you from your sins. Except from the sin of being a [[fatty]] and guzzling too much chocolate. Although graphical representations of [[Jesus Christ]] usually depict him with a slender figure, chances are he was a [[fatty]] with body weight dimorphism. | ||
| − | + | Many historians are skeptical of whether Jesus really did exist, but almost all agree that he was a flaming [[homosexual]] if he did. Archaeological evidence suggests Jesus had planted a [[dildo]] [[in the ass|up his ass]] before his crucifixion to give him some enjoyment during the trial that awaited him. The dildo is known as the Lance of Longinus, because it belonged to a Roman soldier of the same name, Lance Armstrong. | |
| − | + | According to [[God]], "Christianity is fucking [[gay]]." | |
| − | + | ==Christianity LJ Community== | |
| + | {{ljcomm|user=Christianity}} is moderated by [[jjostm]], [[ariston]], and [[pould]]. This community is the home of much [[drama]]. Past graduates have included [[purelily]], [[foxmagic]], and [[Nathan Sheets]]. Once upon a time, butt sex used to be the prime object of discussion, but now all "love juice" questions are directed at {{ljcomm|user=christianitysex}}. Instead, the denizens of this community now get their holy mojo risin' via hilariously pseudo-nonchalant usage of [[Jewish]] and [[Hebrew]] terms, to make themselves sound more "authentic" or what have you. | ||
| − | + | This group is especially useful for those who suspect themselves of being damned. A quick listing of your sins will result in helpful feedback indicating not only which circle of hell you will suffer in for all eternity, but whether your assigned demons will use pitchforks or cattle prods. | |
| − | + | The group is able to offer this service through member [[myprophet]], who has announced she is God's appointed voice on Earth. The Pope denies this, saying he is God's appointed voice on Earth. George W. Bush says they are both crazy blasphemers, and he is God's appointed voice on Earth. Attempts to settle the issue through a walk-that-water challenge have as yet been unsuccessful due to scheduling difficulties, however God is quoted as saying "Jesus fucking Christ, I don't know why I bother." | |
| + | |||
| + | The rise of stupidity in the United States has also been found to be proportional to the rise of Jesus tattoos and Jesus necklaces. Most notably, [[George Bush]] has Jesus tattooed around his [[asshole]]. Religious Christians also tend to flock to the South which migh explain why the South sucks so bad. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==Catholicism== | ||
| + | Catholics, or "Cathyz" as they are called [[OL]], are like normal Christians except they live in Pennsylvania and avoid modern devices such as automobiles and electricity. Every year, the Christian teenagers go to Rumspringa, a sort-of spiritual spring-break, where they get to committ crimes and [[fellatio|suck]] [[cock]] without getting in trouble. | ||
| + | |||
| + | You can identify a Catholic girl by her unwillingness to let you stick your penis up her butt. She will, however, slob your knob like no other. | ||
| + | [[Image:Orthodoxpwned.jpg|thumb|left|Christ shalt not protect ye from wiki vandalism.]] | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==Facts== | ||
| + | *Catholic girls swallow [[cum]]. | ||
Revision as of 22:14, 5 July 2007
Christ fandom is one of the oldest fandoms, with a history that spans continents and centuries. To insinuate to a fundamentalist (hard-core) Christian that the Bible is poorly-written fiction will probably result in you being burnt at the stake. Christians, like furries, are often very defensive about their degeneracy.
The most important day of the year for Christians is Easter-Day when, legend would have it, Jesus Christ burst forth from a giant chocolate egg to save you from your sins. Except from the sin of being a fatty and guzzling too much chocolate. Although graphical representations of Jesus Christ usually depict him with a slender figure, chances are he was a fatty with body weight dimorphism.
Many historians are skeptical of whether Jesus really did exist, but almost all agree that he was a flaming homosexual if he did. Archaeological evidence suggests Jesus had planted a dildo up his ass before his crucifixion to give him some enjoyment during the trial that awaited him. The dildo is known as the Lance of Longinus, because it belonged to a Roman soldier of the same name, Lance Armstrong.
According to God, "Christianity is fucking gay."
Christianity LJ Community
Template:Ljcomm is moderated by jjostm, ariston, and pould. This community is the home of much drama. Past graduates have included purelily, foxmagic, and Nathan Sheets. Once upon a time, butt sex used to be the prime object of discussion, but now all "love juice" questions are directed at Template:Ljcomm. Instead, the denizens of this community now get their holy mojo risin' via hilariously pseudo-nonchalant usage of Jewish and Hebrew terms, to make themselves sound more "authentic" or what have you.
This group is especially useful for those who suspect themselves of being damned. A quick listing of your sins will result in helpful feedback indicating not only which circle of hell you will suffer in for all eternity, but whether your assigned demons will use pitchforks or cattle prods.
The group is able to offer this service through member myprophet, who has announced she is God's appointed voice on Earth. The Pope denies this, saying he is God's appointed voice on Earth. George W. Bush says they are both crazy blasphemers, and he is God's appointed voice on Earth. Attempts to settle the issue through a walk-that-water challenge have as yet been unsuccessful due to scheduling difficulties, however God is quoted as saying "Jesus fucking Christ, I don't know why I bother."
The rise of stupidity in the United States has also been found to be proportional to the rise of Jesus tattoos and Jesus necklaces. Most notably, George Bush has Jesus tattooed around his asshole. Religious Christians also tend to flock to the South which migh explain why the South sucks so bad.
Catholicism
Catholics, or "Cathyz" as they are called OL, are like normal Christians except they live in Pennsylvania and avoid modern devices such as automobiles and electricity. Every year, the Christian teenagers go to Rumspringa, a sort-of spiritual spring-break, where they get to committ crimes and suck cock without getting in trouble.
You can identify a Catholic girl by her unwillingness to let you stick your penis up her butt. She will, however, slob your knob like no other.
Facts
- Catholic girls swallow cum.
