Difference between revisions of "Jesus Christ"

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{{ Infobox Wargame
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[[Image:Raportorjesus.jpg|thumb|Right|Classic Raptor Jesus]][[Image:Absinthe_nymphjesus.jpg|right|thumb|As good as a Raptor Jesus pic gets]]
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| title =Warhammer 40,000
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[[Image:Baby4sale.jpg|thumb|right|Raptor Jesus sells babies]][[Image:Raptorairport.jpg|thumb|right|Raptor Jesus greeted by a follower when He arrived at Dulles [[last Thursday]].]]
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| subtitle = EBAUMSWORLD WAS HERE!
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[[Image:Raptorjohnamos.jpg|thumb|right|[[Nigras]] like to hang pictures of Raptor Jesus on the walls of their shacks.]]
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| image =[[Image:40k 4th ed rulebook.jpg]]
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''There came a day when Raptor Jesus walked with His disciples in a city. They passed many people, and Raptor Jesus would state "They are Anonymous, they are the masses. They are many, and yet they are one. They are quick to judge, and their wrath is terrible." Then Raptor Jesus and His disciples came across a man painting a mural. Raptor Jesus studied the man's work for a time, and then turned to his disciples.''
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<!-- FAIR USE of 40k 4th ed rulebook.jpg: see image description page at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:40k 4th ed rulebook.jpg for rationale -->
 
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| image_caption=Cover of the 4th edition ''Warhammer 40,000'' rulebook
 
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| designer = [[Rick Priestley]] and others
 
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| manufacturer =
 
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| publisher =Games Workshop
 
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| illustrator =
 
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| years = 1987 to present
 
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| players = 2+
 
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| ages = 12+
 
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| setup_time = 5 - 30 minutes
 
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| playing_time = 30 minutes - 3 hours
 
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| complexity =
 
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| strategy =
 
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| random_chance = [[Dice|Dice rolling]]
 
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| skills = [[Strategy]], [[Arithmetic]]
 
  
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| footnotes =
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''"Animated," he said.''
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| web =www.games-workshop.com
 
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}}
 
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{{about|the tabletop miniature wargame and the fictional universe in which it is set|other products set in the same universe|Warhammer 40,000 spin-offs}}
 
  
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'''''Warhammer 40,000''''' (informally known as '''''Warhammer 40K''''', '''''WH40K''''', '''''W40K''''' or just '''''40K''''') is a [[science fantasy]] game produced by [[Games Workshop]]. The game depicts [[combat]] between the armies of the [[fictional universe]] of the 41st millennium using 28 mm scale (approximately 1:65) [[Miniature figure|miniature figurines]] which represent futuristic [[soldiers]], [[Monster|creatures]] and [[Armoured fighting vehicle|vehicles of war]]. Lines of these miniatures are produced by [[Games Workshop]]<ref name="Official Games-Workshop Website">{{cite web | url=http://www.games-workshop.com | title= Games-Workshop Online| publisher=Games Workshop| accessdate=2007-05-29}}</ref> and [[Forge World]]<ref name="Official Forge World Website">{{cite web | url=http://www.forgeworld.com | title= Forge World| publisher=Games Workshop| accessdate=2007-05-29}}</ref>, and are available at their real-world and online stores<ref name="Games-Workshop Online Store">{{cite web | url=http://uk.games-workshop.com/storefront/store.uk | title= Games-Workshop Online Store| publisher=Games Workshop| accessdate=2007-05-29}}</ref><ref name="Forge World Online Store">{{cite web | url=http://www.forgeworld.co.uk/acatalog/index.html | title= Forge World Quartermasters Store| publisher=Games Workshop| accessdate=2007-05-29}}</ref>. There are currently eleven rival factions to choose from and none are unambiguously good. The ethos is well summed up by the game's subtitle slogan:
 
  
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''"In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war."''
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A minor, mildly retarded [[4chan]] [[meme]] consisting of a raptor's head crudely [[photoshopped]] onto any picture of [[Jesus]].  Rose to fame when it became the 900,000th picture posted to the /b/ (random) board, only to have the moderators replace it with a much funnier image - a [[manga]] of a man with a donut around his [[penis]]. Raptor Jesus never achieved the status of [[Cockmongler]] or [[Pedobear]] amongst the [[rape|rapists]] and [[pedophiles]] of /b/, but His "disciples" keep the faith alive in the [http://raptorjesusbible.xwiki.com/xwiki/bin/view/Main/WebHome Rapor Jesus Wiki],  a mindless mess of half-formed sentences, drunken ramblings and faux biblical language.
  
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''Warhammer 40,000'' is the science fiction companion to ''[[Warhammer Fantasy Battle]]'', and shares many of the same game mechanics. The ''Warhammer 40,000'' setting is also used for several other games which have later fed back into the setting.
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==The Prayer of Raptor Jesus==
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[[Image:Raptorjesus 1.jpg|thumb|right|his only son]]
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''"This prayer the Holy Saurian didst impart upon his loyal followers, the seventh hour of the fourth day of the eleventh month, during the festival of loli-worship." ''
  
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==History==
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Our Raptor,
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Who art in /h/eaven,
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shopped be Thy face;
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Thy donations come,
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Thy posts be done
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in /b/ as it is in /h/eaven.
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Give us this day our daily Bridget;
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and forgive us our trolling
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as we forgive those who troll against us,
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and lead us not into faggotry,
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but deliver us from /fur/ry.
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In the name of the Moot, the Raptor, and the Holy Server,
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Amen.
  
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[[Image:Rogue trader cover.jpg|thumb|150px|left|''Rogue Trader'' - the first edition of ''Warhammer 40,000'']]
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Raptor Jesus is also [[unfunny]], but since He went extinct for our sins, the point is [[moot]].
  
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<!-- FAIR USE of Rogue_trader_cover.jpg: see image description page at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Rogue_trader_cover.jpg for rationale -->
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From what little is understood of Raptor Jesus, He loves Tom Chou. Apparently He died for his sins first, and  I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said "you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."
  
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The first edition of the game, ''[[Rogue Trader (Warhammer 40,000)|Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader]]'', was published in 1987. Game designer Rick Priestley created the original rules set and the ''Warhammer 40,000'' gameworld. This original version came as a very detailed, though rather jumbled, rulebook, which made it most suitable for fighting small [[skirmish]]es. Much of the composition of units was determined randomly, by rolling [[dice]].  In addition, supplemental material was continually published in [[White Dwarf (magazine)|White Dwarf]] magazine, which provided rules for new units and models. Eventually, White Dwarf provided proper "army lists," which could be used to create larger and more coherent forces than were possible in the main rulebook. 
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==The Creed of Raptor Jesus==
  
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A few elements of the setting (bolters, lasguns, frag grenades, Terminator armour) can be seen in a set of earlier wargaming rules called ''[[Laserburn]]'' (produced by [[Tabletop Games]]) written by Bryan Ansell. These rules were later expanded upon by both Ansell and Richard Halliwell (both of whom ended up working for Games Workshop). The prototype game mechanics for ''[[Necromunda]]'' were also influenced by these men.  
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Followers of Raptor Jesus are easily identifiable because they have not showered recently nor have they ever [[Virgin|seen a girl]]. They live by the following simple beliefs and most likely have one or more of these statements tattooed on their [[cock|cocks]].
  
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One major expansion for Rogue Trader were the book ''Chapter Approved'' which gave army lists for the Space Marines and Eldar among others. Another major expansion was the two-volume [[Realms of Chaos (Warhammer)|''Realms of Chaos'']] (1988 and 1990) book which introduced the Horus Heresy and the Chaotic powers. It was at this time that the Imperial Guard were introduced (although they were then called the Imperial Army).
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*''Love Raptor Jesus or die.''
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*''Raptor Jesus is the saviour of all mankind, and will deliver thee to carnivorous enlightnement.''
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*''Believe in the Lord Raptor Jesus, and thou shalt be saved!''
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*''Raptor Jesus will rise again!''
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*''Raptor Jesus went extinct for your sins!''
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*''Raptor Jesus loves you!''
  
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The second edition of "Warhammer 40,000" was published in late 1993. This and later developments of the game were developed under the direction of editor [[Andy Chambers]]. This edition came in a boxed set including [[Space Marines (Warhammer 40,000)|Space Marine]] and [[Ork (Warhammer 40,000)|Ork]] miniatures, scenery, dice, and the main rules.  An expansion box set titled ''Dark Millennium'' was later released, which including rules for psychic powers.  Although second edition ''Warhammer 40,000'' was very similar in many aspects, it was designed to be both more structured than Rogue Trader, and to allow larger battles than rules from the first edition allowed. Second edition also introduced the concept of the [[Codex (Warhammer 40,000)|"army codex"]]; a separate book that contained the rule information for a single army.
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==Second Coming==
  
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The third edition of the game was released in 1998, and again concentrated on streamlining the rules for larger battles. Third edition rules were notably simpler, and less prone to use arbitrary or overly powerful abilities than the previous editions. The rulebook was available alone, or as a boxset with miniatures of Space Marines and the newly-introduced [[Dark Eldar]].  The system of army codexes continued in third edition.<ref>While formally incorrect, Games Workshop use "codexes" as the plural of codex. See, for example, [http://uk.games-workshop.com/spacemarines/getting-started/2/ Getting Started with Space Marines – Pt 2]: "Lastly, Codexes contain the army's background story that you can find nowhere else."</ref>  In addition to army codexes, a supplemental rulebook titled "Cityfight" introduced special rules for fighting in urban conditions.
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The second coming of Raptor Jesus actually occurred [[last Thursday]]. Many were expecting a massive Earth shattering event to announce His presence but instead He arrived on United Airlines Flight 47 to Dulles.  Reporters waiting at the gate quoted Raptor Jesus as saying he was "vaklempt" and something about "mashugenah."  This is of course because Raptor Jesus is a [[Jew|fucking Jew]].  He has not yet rendered judgment on the [[Islam|sinners]] of the world but instead is sitting in His [[basement dweller|basement]] eating [[Ramen]] and spinning a dreidel. He can be found on [[ED IRC|#ED]] and His [[MySpace]] page [http://www.myspace.com/raptorjesuslawl here].
  
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Towards the end of the 3rd edition, three new armies were introduced, the [[Tau (Warhammer 40,000)|Tau]] race, and two armies of the [[Inquisition (Warhammer 40,000)|Inquisition]]: the Daemonhunters of the [[Ordo Malleus]], and the Witchhunters of the [[Ordo Hereticus]]; elements of these armies had appeared before in supplementary material (such as ''Realms of Chaos''). At the end of the third edition, these Inquisition armies were re-released with all new artwork and army lists. These new and remade armies had codexes that were far more in-depth and detailed than previous editions in regards to the background of each army within the game's universe - which would later be utilized by the codexes in 4th edition. Because of how in depth the new codexes were, these books are sometimes referred to as "Edition 3.5".
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==Gallery==
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<gallery>
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Image:Raptor Jesus 1.jpg
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Image:Raptor Jesus 2.jpg
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Image:Raptor Jesus 3.jpg
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Image:Raptor Jesus 4.jpg
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Image:Raptor Jesus 5.jpg
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Image:LOL RAPTOR JESUS by Devious Derek.jpg
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Image:Raptor2.jpg
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Image:Raptorair8zu.jpg
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Image:Raptorjesus6eo.jpg
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Image:Raptorjesus37ry.jpg
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Image:RaptorJesus1.jpg
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Image:RaptorJesus2.jpg
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Image:Raptorjesuscosplay.jpg
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Image:Raptorhealing1.jpg
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Image:Raptorhatch.jpg
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Image:Raptorlastsupper.jpg
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Image:Raptorpassion.jpg
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Image:Raptorcross1.jpg
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Image:SteelRaptorJesus.jpg
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Image:Churchofrjcard.jpg
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Image:raptorbox.jpg
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Image:Raepture.jpg
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</gallery>
  
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During this time, Games Workshop also held several world-wide events, telling the stories of important wars fought in the game's universe.  Players were encouraged to sign up for these events, where they could send in the results of their battles, with the overall results of all players having an influence on the outcome of the war. 
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<youtube>yy7rZ-bS1mA</youtube>
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===Current edition===
 
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The fourth edition of ''Warhammer 40,000'' was released in 2004. This edition did not feature as many major changes as prior editions, and was "backwards compatible" with each army's third edition codex. The fourth edition was released in three forms: the first was a standalone hardcover version, with additional information on painting, scenery building, and background information about the ''Warhammer 40,000'' universe.  The second was a boxed set, called ''Battle For Macragge'', which included a compact softcover version of the rules, scenery, and [[Space Marines (Warhammer 40,000)|Space Marines]] and [[Tyranid]] miniatures.  The third was a limited collector's edition version of the hardcover book and was leather-bound, its front cover embossed in silver with the ''Warhammer 40,000'' fourth edition logo. Each page was edged with silver foil, and the book was packaged in a protective black leather slipcover.
 
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There are many variations to the rules and army lists that are available for use, typically with an opponent's consent.  These rules are found in the Games Workshop publication [[White Dwarf (magazine)|White Dwarf]], the Games Workshop website, or the [[Forge World]] publication [[Imperial Armour]].
 
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As of June 2007, the Space Marines, Tyranids, [[Black Templars]], [[Tau Empire]], [[Eldar (Warhammer 40,000)|Eldar]], [[Dark Angels (Warhammer 40,000)|Dark Angels]] and the [[Blood Angels (Warhammer 40,000)|Blood Angels]] codexes are for 4th edition Warhammer 40,000.
 
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The Black Templar and Dark Angel codexes are stand alone codexes, unlike their third edition counterparts, which were additions to the Space Marine codex. This is supposedly the trend of fourth edition codexes where there will be no 'sub-codexes' being released, though according to Jervis Johnson (one of Games Workshop's long-term strategy managers), whether Codex Chaos will follow this path for its Legions has yet to be decided. The Blood Angels codex is to be published in White Dwarf in two parts, in UK issues 330 and 331 (although long-term a printed codex is planned).  The new Chaos Space Marine Codex is coming out in September.<ref>White Dwarf (UK) #330, Standard Bearer article</ref>
 
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==The tabletop game==
 
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===Overview===
 
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Each player assembles an army of metal and plastic miniature figurines (models) - each usually representing a single military figure from one of the [[Warhammer 40,000 species|official lists]]. These armies are constrained by rules contained within the ''Warhammer 40,000'' rulebook, as well as in several army-specific ''[[Codex (Warhammer 40,000)|codexes]]''. The size and power of the army is determined on a points system, with each unit being assigned a number of points proportional to its worth on the battlefield. Before a game the players agree on how many points will be used as the maximum army size and each assemble an army up to that maximum limit.
 
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Common game sizes are between 400 and 2,000 points, but it is possible to play much larger games given time and inclination (the Official Games Workshop site documented a 10,000 point game, but it was a team-up game, with more than 5 players on each side). In addition, there are more detailed rules for such games, using more book-keeping for each individual figure. Games generally run from half an hour to several hours depending on the size of the armies.
 
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Play is divided into turns, with each player choosing specific actions for all of his units on his turn (usually some combination of movement, firing, and close combat), and using dice to determine the results of those actions. Each battle, at the onset, is assigned a set of additional rules and a goal (collectively called a "scenario") specific to it. The most common of these is a basic "cleanse" mission (which was the "default" mission in 3rd edition), which ends after six turns, the victor being declared on who controls the four quarters of the battlefield or giving extra Victory Points for controlling these four quarters at the end of the game; more complex goals can include night fights, bunker assaults, and ambushes.
 
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Some players organize a series of scenarios, called a campaign, where two or more players fight against each other in a number of battles. These campaigns may feature their own special rules, and are tied together by a storyline, which might alter according to the results of each scenario when it is played. Every few years, a global campaign is held in which people submit the results of their games to [[Games Workshop]]. These results are collated, and together affect the storyline of the game, which is then accounted for in the next rulebook and fiction releases. The most recent of these global campaigns was [[The Fall of Medusa V]] campaign which ended in a massive Imperial Victory.
 
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===Collecting===
 
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In addition to writing rulebooks for the game, Games Workshop also owns [[Citadel Miniatures]] and [[Forge World]], two companies which manufacture the miniatures used to play ''Warhammer 40,000''.  In addition to the current line of units, Games Workshop makes available past model lines as a part of their mail-order-only "Classic" series. These are models that have been used for earlier versions of the game. This is one of many ways to get certain miniatures which have been discontinued.
 
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As of June 2006, new players wishing to start playing should expect to spend at least £200, but may need to spend much more, for a basic playable army with ample room for customization (1,000 points). This figure includes costs for the rulebook, the army's codex, and modeling equipment such as paints and glue<ref>[http://uk.games-workshop.com/storefront/store.uk?do=List_Models&code=301225&orignav=10 Games Workshop Starting Out Store Page]</ref>. Players must also purchase individual units in squads or in boxed sets. The cost of boxed sets varies widely (£5 to £100), depending on the contents. However, the boxed set may not provide for all available options, meaning that players may choose to purchase additional [[blister pack]]s, each containing one to three models. Blister packs vary widely from £4 for essentially a metallic version of a single plastic model, to £14 for large (2-3 inches tall ) multi part models.
 
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===Modelling===
 
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[[Image:Dark angel captain.jpg|right|thumb|200px|A converted Dark Angel Captain. {{speedy-image-c|[[2007-07-08]]}}]]
 
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Since the models are hand-painted and assembled by the player, people are encouraged to design their own paint schemes as well as using the pre-designed ones displayed in the various books. They are also encouraged to further modify their figures and vehicles using parts from other kits and models (known as "[[Miniature conversion|bitz]]" or sprues to players), or scratch-built from plasticard (Sheet Styrene), modeling putty ("green stuff" most commonly used) and whatever the modeler has at hand. These conversions are often entered into contests at sponsored tournaments and similar gaming events, including the [[Golden Demon]]; a very well known international Games Workshop-run event which judges entries every year on conversion, painting, basing and atmosphere.
 
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===Terrain===
 
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Terrain is a very important part of play. Although Games Workshop has terrain kits available, many hobbyists prefer to make their own elaborate and unique set pieces. Common household items like soft drink cans, coffee cups, [[styrofoam]] packing pieces, and pill bottles can be transformed into ruined cathedrals, alien habitats, or terrain with the addition of plasticard, putty, and a bit of patience and skill. The [[Games Workshop]] sub-division [[Forge World]] also makes numerous detailed resin terrain sets.
 
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==Background==
 
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===Setting===
 
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{{main|Timeline of the Warhammer 40,000 universe}}
 
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The ''Warhammer 40,000'' game world is most readily characterized as a [[Gothic fiction|gothic]] [[Science fantasy|science-fantasy]] universe, set appox 38,000 years from now, in the 41st millennium (although recent storyline dates have been placing events in the 999th year of the 41st millennium, meaning an impending advancement into the 42nd). Most of the major storylines that provide the backdrop and history span over millennia at a time (ie, a 5,000 year-long civil war, a 10,000 year-long crusade). Technology (mostly artifacts from previous millennia which are no longer producable) enables select humans to continue living well beyond centuries long, some for thousands of years, although the cost of this extended life typically involves some kind of assimilation with a machine, and thereby loss of much of "the human".
 
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The central and most popular elements of the ''Warhammer 40,000'' universe are the [[Space Marines (Warhammer 40,000)|Space Marines]], [[Anachronism|anachronistic]] combinations of genetically enhanced super-soldiers with world-destroying firepower, and crusading knights with an unswerving, fanatical loyalty to the God-Emperor. Their genetic modification enables these soldiers to "naturally" live and maintain their super-human physical prowess for well over 100 years, creating veterans and commanders of immense experience, ferocity and knowledge. These warriors are the elite guardians of the Imperium of Mankind, a [[dystopia]]n galaxy-spanning empire. They function from an aggressive "first contact" shock troop to the very last line of defense from the enemies of the Imperium.
 
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While Space Marines act as the special forces of the Imperium, the bulk of mankind military power is the [[Imperial Guard (Warhammer 40,000)|Imperial Guard]], thousands of regiments of billions of normal soldiers from the worlds of the Imperium. Some willingly enlisted out of devotion, while a large majority are simple conscripts pressed into service for the endless war. The Imperial Guard field masses of armour and infantry in fearsomely capable armies able to lay siege to worlds or withstand assaults from their sheer size alone.
 
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The setting of this story is the Materium, the real physical universe we inhabit, with all action here in the [[Milky Way]] Galaxy. Much of this is controlled by the [[Imperium (Warhammer 40,000)|Imperium of Man]], though it is not the only galactic power. Other races include the [[Ork (Warhammer 40,000)|Orks]], a barbaric humanoid green-skinned semi-fungoid based race; the [[Eldar (Warhammer 40,000)|Eldar]], [[J. R. R. Tolkien|Tolkien]]-esque "space elves"; the [[Tau (Warhammer 40,000)|Tau]], aliens that work for a philosophy called the [[Socialism|Greater Good]]; the [[Necrons]], undead themed soulless living metal constructs; and the [[Tyranids]], a [[H. R. Giger|Giger]]-like all-organic, bio-engineered, extragalactic superpredator. A dynamic, galaxy-spanning story line is possible because of a separate plane of existence, the [[Immaterium (Warhammer 40,000)|Immaterium]] or "Warp." The Warp is described as a universe composed of desire and emotion, with currents and eddies that make traveling vast interstellar distances possible yet difficult.  As this is a realm of thought, a coalescence yields an often sinister warp entity.  The strongest of these entities are the [[Chaos (Warhammer)|Chaos Gods]], [[Khorne]] (a god of rage, bloodshed, and war), [[Nurgle]] (a god of despair, decay and pestilent disease), [[Tzeentch]] (a god of ambition, manipulation, change, deception, scheming, and sorcery) and [[Slaanesh]] (a god of pleasure, pain, depravity, pride and decadence).
 
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The Gods of Chaos are reflections within the immaterial universe of the strongest impulses expressed by the inhabitants of the material universe. Their cults have a dynamic and antagonistic relationship. Khorne opposes Slaanesh, while Nurgle opposes Tzeentch.  Nurgle is the personification of stagnation and decay, Tzeentch personifies continual change, Khorne personifies hatred and rage, and Slaanesh personifies the epicurean or the sensual. These four powers are not the only entities in the Warp, but they are the greatest and most powerful. It is said, in the background to ''Warhammer 40,000'', that the nature of the Warp is beyond human comprehension and is truly unknowable.
 
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===Armies/races/species===
 
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{{main|Warhammer 40,000 species}}
 
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The ''Warhammer 40,000'' game, and consequently the fictional universe, is made up of many races and species. The main playable armies in the game are the [[Chaos Space Marines]],  [[Daemonhunters]], [[Dark Eldar]], [[Eldar (Warhammer 40,000)|Eldar]], [[Imperial Guard (Warhammer 40,000)|Imperial Guard]], [[Necron]]s, [[Ork (Warhammer 40,000)|Orks]], [[Space Marines (Warhammer 40,000)|Space Marines]], [[Tau (Warhammer 40,000)|Tau]], [[Tyranid]]s and [[Witch Hunters]].  Most races have variant armies.  For example, Space Marines are divided into "Chapters", which sometimes have unique traits or even their own rules. 
 
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Examples of variant armies include the following (however, this list is not exhaustive):
 
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* Space Marine: [[Black Templars]], [[Blood Angels]], [[Space Wolves]]<ref name="Codex Witch Hunters">{{cite book|title=Warhammer 40,000 Codex: Witchhunters|first=Graham|last=McNeil|coauthors=Hoare, Andy, and Haines, Pete|year=2003|edition=1st Edition|publisher=Games Workshop|location=Nottingham|id=ISBN 1-84154-485-X}}</ref><ref name="Codex Daemon Hunters">{{cite book|title=Warhammer 40,000 Codex: Daemonhunters|first=Graham|last=McNeill|authorlink=Graham McNeill|coauthors=and Haines, Pete|year=2003|publisher=Games Workshop|location=Nottingham|id=ISBN 1-84154-361-6}}</ref>.
 
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* Imperial Guard: [[Armoured forces|Armoured Companies]], [[Planets of Warhammer 40,000#Catachan|Catachan Jungle Fighters]], [[Planets of Warhammer 40,000#Mordia|Mordian Iron Guard]]<ref name="Codex Witch Hunters">{{cite book|title=Warhammer 40,000 Codex: Witchhunters|first=Graham|last=McNeil|coauthors=Hoare, Andy, and Haines, Pete|year=2003|edition=1st Edition|publisher=Games Workshop|location=Nottingham|id=ISBN 1-84154-485-X}}</ref><ref name="Codex Daemon Hunters">{{cite book|title=Warhammer 40,000 Codex: Daemonhunters|first=Graham|last=McNeill|authorlink=Graham McNeill|coauthors=and Haines, Pete|year=2003|publisher=Games Workshop|location=Nottingham|id=ISBN 1-84154-361-6}}</ref>.
 
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* Tau Empire: [[Kroot]] Mercenaries, the [[Commander Farsight (Warhammer 40,000)|Farsight Enclave]] <!--Please do not add Vespids/Stingwings here- this is a list of variant armies (ie other versions of existing armies); Vespids are not, at this time, a "variant army".  See the Talk page to discuss this, if necessary. -->
 
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* Eldar: [[Eldar Craftworlds (Warhammer 40,000)#Iyanden|Iyanden]], [[Eldar Craftworlds (Warhammer 40,000)#Saim-Hann|Saim-Hann]], [[Eldar Craftworlds (Warhammer 40,000)#Ulthwé|Ulthwé]]
 
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* Chaos Space Marine: [[Death Guard]], [[World Eaters]], [[Thousand Sons]], etc.
 
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* Orks: [[Ork (Warhammer 40,000)#The Kult of Speed|Speed Freeks]], [[Ork (Warhammer 40,000)#Feral Orks|Feral Orks]]
 
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* Tyranids: [[Genestealer]] Cult
 
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===Notable characters===
 
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{{seealso|Category:Warhammer 40,000 characters}}
 
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The ''Warhammer 40,000'' universe and game are made up of many different characters, each important in some way. Some of these characters are more important to the universe and game than others. The list below contains a selection of the figures and characters that have had the greatest impact on the ''Warhammer 40,000'' fictional universe.
 
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<!-- Note to editors: guidelines for which characters are in this list have been agreed at <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:WikiProject_Warhammer_40%2C000/Notability>; any characters added to this list without first discussing it there are very likely to be reverted. -->
 
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*[[Emperor of Mankind (Warhammer 40,000)|The Emperor of Mankind]]
 
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*[[Horus (Warhammer 40,000)|Warmaster Horus]]
 
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*[[Abaddon the Despoiler]]
 
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*[[Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thraka]]
 
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*[[Eldrad Ulthran]]
 
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==Spin-offs==
 
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{{main|Warhammer 40,000 spin-offs}}
 
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''Warhammer 40,000'' has, over the years, inspired many spin-off games. The most popular of these include the miniature-based games ''[[Battlefleet Gothic]]'', ''[[Epic (game)|Epic Armageddon]]'', ''[[Inquisitor (game)|Inquisitor]]'' and ''[[Necromunda]]'', all of which have their own website<ref name="Official Specialist Games Website">{{cite web | url=http://www.specialist-games.com | title= Specialist Games| publisher=Games Workshop|  accessdate=2007-05-29}}</ref> and are available as "Specialist Games" from the Games Workshop catalog<ref name="Games-Workshop Online Store">{{cite web | url=http://uk.games-workshop.com/storefront/store.uk | title= Games-Workshop Online Store| publisher=Games Workshop|  accessdate=2007-05-29}}</ref> (and ''[[Gorkamorka]]'' a now out of production tabletop game), the Forge World game [[Aeronautica Imperialis]] available from their catalog<ref name="Official Forge World Website">{{cite web | url=http://www.forgeworld.com | title= Forge World| publisher=Games Workshop|  accessdate=2007-05-29}}</ref>, the video games ''[[Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War|Dawn of War]]'', ''[[Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War: Winter Assault|Dawn of War - Winter Assault]]'', ''[[Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War: Dark Crusade|Dawn of War - Dark Crusade]]'', ''[[Warhammer 40,000: Fire Warrior|Fire Warrior]]'', ''[[Warhammer 40,000: Chaos Gate|Chaos Gate]]'', ''[[Space Hulk]]'', ''[[Space Hulk: Vengeance of the Blood Angels]]'', ''[[Warhammer 40000: Final Liberation|Final Liberation]]'', ''[[Rites of War]]'', upcoming Warhammer 40k Squad command for PSP and NDS from THQ and an upcoming unnamed MMO from [[THQ]] and [[Vigil Games]]<ref>{{cite news |first=iTZKooPA |url=http://tgnforums.stardock.com/?forumid=141&aid=145823 |title='Warhammer 40,000 MMO Confirmed |publisher=Totalgaming.net |date=2007-03-01 |accessdate=2007-03-01}}</ref>. A wide number of "Warhammer 40,000" novels and background books has been published <ref name="Black Library Website">{{cite web | url=http://www.blacklibrary.co.uk/default.asp | title= The Black Library| publisher=Games Workshop|  accessdate=2007-05-29}}</ref>.
 
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==Origins Awards==
 
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At the 1994 [[Origins International Game Expo]], the Academy of Adventure Gaming, Arts and Design awarded the second edition of ''Warhammer 40,000'' the [[Origins Award]] for Best Miniatures Rules for 1993.<ref>{{cite web | url=http://www.originsgames.com/awards/1993 | title=1993 - List of winners | publisher=Academy of Adventure Gaming, Arts and Design | work=www.originsgames.com | accessdate=2007-04-26}}</ref> At the 1997 Expo, they gave the award for Best Fantasy or Science Fiction Figure Miniatures Series of 1996 for Jes Goodwin's Warhammer 40,000 Chaos range.<ref>{{cite web | url=http://www.originsgames.com/awards/1996 | title=1996 - List of winners | publisher=Academy of Adventure Gaming, Arts and Design | work=www.originsgames.com | accessdate=2007-04-26}}</ref> At the 2004 Expo, ''Warhammer 40,000'' was inducted into the Academy's Hall of Fame.<ref>{{cite web | url=http://www.originsgames.com/awards/2003 | title=2003 - List of winners | publisher=Academy of Adventure Gaming, Arts and Design | work=www.originsgames.com | accessdate=2007-04-26}}</ref>
 
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==References==
 
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<div class="references-small">
 
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<references />
 
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* {{cite book|title=Rogue Trader|first=Rick|last=Priestley|year=1992|publisher=Games Workshop|location=Eastwood|id=ISBN 1-872372-27-9}}
 
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* {{cite book|title=Warhammer 40,000|first=Rick|last=Priestley|edition=3rd Edition|year=1998|publisher=Games Workshop|location=Nottingham|id=ISBN 1-84154-000-5}}
 
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* {{cite book|title=Warhammer 40,000|first=Andy|last=Chambers|coauthors=Priestley, Rick, and Haines, Pete|edition=4th edition|year=2004|publisher=Games Workshop|location=Nottingham|id=ISBN 1-84154-468-X}}
 
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* {{cite book|title=Warhammer 40,000|year=2004|edition=1st Mini Edition|publisher=Games Workshop|location=Nottingham|id=ISBN 1-84154-511-2}}
 
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</div>
 
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==See also==
 
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{{commons}}
 
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{{wikiquote}}
 
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*[[Warhammer Fantasy]]
 
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*[[The Lord of the Rings Strategy Battle Game]]
 
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*[[Games Workshop Online Community]]
 
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*[[Horus Heresy (card game)]]
 
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*[[White Dwarf Magazine]]
 
  
 
==External links==
 
==External links==
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<!-- Please do not add any unofficial links, fansite or fan forum links here.  They violate Wikipedia's external link guideline and are highly likely to be removed. -->
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*[http://raptorjesusbible.xwiki.com/xwiki/bin/view/Main/WebHome The Known Raptor Jesus Bible]
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* [http://www.games-workshop.com Games Workshop] Creators of the games ''Warhammer 40,000''
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*[http://www.myspace.com/theraptorjesus Raptor Jesus] On [[Myspace]]!
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** [http://www.forgeworld.co.uk Forge World] Games Workshop's division that creates resin miniatures
 
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{{Warhammer 40,000}}
 
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[[Category:Miniatures games]]
 
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[[Category:Origins Award winners]]
 
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[[Category:Warhammer 40,000|*]]
 
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[[Category:1987 introductions]]
 
  
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[[cs:Warhammer fantasy]]
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==See Also==
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[[da:Warhammer 40.000]]
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*[[Christian furry]]
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[[de:Warhammer 40,000]]
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*[[Dinosaur]]
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[[es:Warhammer 40.000]]
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*[[Jesus]]
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[[fr:Warhammer 40,000]]
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{{Religions}}
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[[it:Warhammer 40.000]]
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{{4chan shit}}
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[[he:וורהאמר 40,000]]
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[[Category:Memes]]
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[[ka:ვარჰამერ 40000]]
 
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[[nl:Warhammer 40,000]]
 
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[[pl:Warhammer 40000]]
 
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[[ru:Warhammer 40,000]]
 
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[[sh:Warhammer 40000]]
 
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[[fi:Warhammer 40,000]]
 
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[[zh:战锤40000]]
 

Revision as of 22:17, 5 July 2007

File:Raportorjesus.jpg
Classic Raptor Jesus
File:Absinthe nymphjesus.jpg
As good as a Raptor Jesus pic gets
File:Baby4sale.jpg
Raptor Jesus sells babies
File:Raptorairport.jpg
Raptor Jesus greeted by a follower when He arrived at Dulles last Thursday.
File:Raptorjohnamos.jpg
Nigras like to hang pictures of Raptor Jesus on the walls of their shacks.

There came a day when Raptor Jesus walked with His disciples in a city. They passed many people, and Raptor Jesus would state "They are Anonymous, they are the masses. They are many, and yet they are one. They are quick to judge, and their wrath is terrible." Then Raptor Jesus and His disciples came across a man painting a mural. Raptor Jesus studied the man's work for a time, and then turned to his disciples.

"Animated," he said.


A minor, mildly retarded 4chan meme consisting of a raptor's head crudely photoshopped onto any picture of Jesus. Rose to fame when it became the 900,000th picture posted to the /b/ (random) board, only to have the moderators replace it with a much funnier image - a manga of a man with a donut around his penis. Raptor Jesus never achieved the status of Cockmongler or Pedobear amongst the rapists and pedophiles of /b/, but His "disciples" keep the faith alive in the Rapor Jesus Wiki, a mindless mess of half-formed sentences, drunken ramblings and faux biblical language.

The Prayer of Raptor Jesus

File:Raptorjesus 1.jpg
his only son

"This prayer the Holy Saurian didst impart upon his loyal followers, the seventh hour of the fourth day of the eleventh month, during the festival of loli-worship." 

Our Raptor,
Who art in /h/eaven,
shopped be Thy face;
Thy donations come,
Thy posts be done
in /b/ as it is in /h/eaven.
Give us this day our daily Bridget;
and forgive us our trolling
as we forgive those who troll against us,
and lead us not into faggotry,
but deliver us from /fur/ry.
In the name of the Moot, the Raptor, and the Holy Server,
Amen.

Raptor Jesus is also unfunny, but since He went extinct for our sins, the point is moot.

From what little is understood of Raptor Jesus, He loves Tom Chou. Apparently He died for his sins first, and I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said "you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air."

The Creed of Raptor Jesus

Followers of Raptor Jesus are easily identifiable because they have not showered recently nor have they ever seen a girl. They live by the following simple beliefs and most likely have one or more of these statements tattooed on their cocks.

  • Love Raptor Jesus or die.
  • Raptor Jesus is the saviour of all mankind, and will deliver thee to carnivorous enlightnement.
  • Believe in the Lord Raptor Jesus, and thou shalt be saved!
  • Raptor Jesus will rise again!
  • Raptor Jesus went extinct for your sins!
  • Raptor Jesus loves you!

Second Coming

The second coming of Raptor Jesus actually occurred last Thursday. Many were expecting a massive Earth shattering event to announce His presence but instead He arrived on United Airlines Flight 47 to Dulles. Reporters waiting at the gate quoted Raptor Jesus as saying he was "vaklempt" and something about "mashugenah." This is of course because Raptor Jesus is a fucking Jew. He has not yet rendered judgment on the sinners of the world but instead is sitting in His basement eating Ramen and spinning a dreidel. He can be found on #ED and His MySpace page here.

Gallery

  • Raptor Jesus 1.jpg
  • Raptor Jesus 2.jpg
  • Raptor Jesus 3.jpg
  • Raptor Jesus 4.jpg
  • Raptor Jesus 5.jpg
  • LOL RAPTOR JESUS by Devious Derek.jpg
  • Raptor2.jpg
  • Raptorair8zu.jpg
  • Raptorjesus6eo.jpg
  • Raptorjesus37ry.jpg
  • RaptorJesus1.jpg
  • RaptorJesus2.jpg
  • Raptorjesuscosplay.jpg
  • Raptorhealing1.jpg
  • Raptorhatch.jpg
  • Raptorlastsupper.jpg
  • Raptorpassion.jpg
  • Raptorcross1.jpg
  • SteelRaptorJesus.jpg
  • Churchofrjcard.jpg
  • Raptorbox.jpg
  • Raepture.jpg

<youtube>yy7rZ-bS1mA</youtube>

External links

See Also

Template:Religions Template:4chan shit

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